The Missing
by He will knock four times
Summary: Seras missing, a new threat thatleaves Integra puzzeled and Alucard enraged. yep. just about sounds like your generic AlucardxSeras story. However: This is NOT your average Lycan and vampire story. Temporary hiatus
1. The terrible beginning

Okay its official: I'm a masochist.

A masochist with writers block. I just love to torture myself. Why do I do this to myself? I've had writers block for days and this plot has been eating away at me for days and driving me insane in my sleep. This is, unfortunately, unavoidable. My writing has been crap ever since this story occurred to me and now I can't feel any motivation to write. None. Its like all the wind in sails has gone poof! Effectively this story has infected my brain and the only way to get rid of the writer's block to submit another story. *Cries quietly in a corner*

Seras: sigh. Everyone, ignore the writer. She's lost it.

Writer: lost it? Of course I haven't gone crazy. Its only voices inside my head telling me to clean my guns and sharp pencils. I am perfecty fi- GRRRRR! Must write… fourth story… writers block imminent!

*Seras breaks the forth wall* : we are all screwed.

*Alucard shows up and leers at Seras with a perverted grin* : is that an invitation pet?

Walter: This is **not** your average Lycan and vampire tale.

XxXxxxxXXXxxxxxXx

She crinkled her eyes squinting at the paper before her tiredly. She wanted to throw something just for the satisfaction of watching it shatter. No. NO. NO. This was NOT happening. She grits her teeth. She was on the verge of screaming. It had been a perfect night of the regular exhaustion. Peaceful, exhausting and full of aggravating paper work, but calm nevertheless. Then all of it was shattered because she had read the report. She could feel a headache forming and desperately hoped for a fatal aneurism. Yes. Dying would sound so much easier than this.

Of course that wasn't an option. Since when did a Hellsing take the easy way out? But the signs of what the report implied were as clear as day, right in front of her face. A war of the humans with the monsters. Right. Here. In. London.

Last week? The usual freak outbreak. Leftovers from the war with millennium. About three deaths a weak. They were all nearly dead and gone. It had been ten years and no one had heard an hide or hair of them. London had been rebuilt and the streets shockingly filled once more with the same hustle as if nothing bad had ever happened. The only change was the bell tower erected near the cemetery in honor of all those that had died. When millennium had officially gone down for good it had become painfully obvious that the major had been intelligent about it. He had kept a contingent in reserve to release should he need it but for reasons Integra could not fathom he had not deployed them at all; and so a aggravatingly high number of about five hundred and twenty freaks had been released to escape into the countryside.

Naturally with no men left to deal with it and she locked up for high treason, nothing had been done. Nothing. No one would listen to her when she warned that there was more out there. No one took her seriously. They had thought she was crazy and a traitor causing trouble. Only Alucard and Seras would listen to her anymore at the time. Until she had been cleared of all charges she had remained in her cell, ignoring Alucard's constant offers. She wrinkled her nose in distaste at the memory. How many times had she said 'no' and he wasn't deterred in the slightest. She finally had to order him to hunt down all the last freaks he could find and dispose of them as a distraction. Seras would have helped as well.

If she hadn't gone missing.

That knowledge had been a bitter pill. She wouldn't admit it but she liked Seras. It was callous to say but Seras's missing status wouldn't have bothered her if the young vampire was in her final death. The fact of the matter was that Seras was in fact alive and freed from her master. Alucard could not find her. _Her_ bloody stupid servant had released _his_ servant and then neglected to keep track of her whereabouts afterwards and neither had he mentioned it to her. Meaning for ten years a former servant of Hellsing and a fully fledged vampire was on the loose doing who knows what and Alucard could not find her using the master-servant bond. Worse was that when her servant had found out he had thrown all manners of fits over it and had been sullen for months. He had taken to interrogating his targets first as to the whereabouts of his child before killing them and no one, under any circumstances, was allowed to enter her old room. Any mention of Seras had him behaving like a glowering child with a bad temper. If she hadn't needed Alucard so badly she would have thrown him back into the jail from whence he came for his behavior.

Now it appeared she needed him again.

This week… A sudden spike in deaths and all of them gruesome. She had sent out her vampire to deal with the freaks but oddly enough they had been absent. Conspicuously absent. The bodies remains and the killings themselves were even stranger. The usual MO of freaks had been to blood lust rampage in a neighborhood, working their way from house to house slaughtering any that crossed their paths for either food or sick amusement. The bodies were always mutilated to some degree and on occasion, violated. All victims were either covered in bite marks and more than usually turned to ghouls. Also the freak would stay behind to revel in their kills. Perfect for sending Alucard in, instead of making him chase a fleeing target.

Yet these deaths were odd because… none of it was similar to a freak attack. None of the victims were in a residential area but were in woodlands or fields. None of them had been turned to ghouls and no freaks had been sighted. It wasn't large masses of people slaughtered all at once but a small amount of two or three a day. Also, the bodies hadn't just been mutilated… they had been _eaten_. She would send Alucard out to hunt and he would come back with confirmation that the bodies had great bite marks and tears with body parts missing. Her servant had already confirmed that it was not a real vampire nor was it undead. He could tell by the smell.

She massaged her temple. None of it added up and no odd reports of rogue animals or strange beasts could be found to explain it. No one had seen anything and no traces had been left except the bodes and the gore. By the time her servant had gotten there all scents had already faded into nothingness. No foot prints because the season had been dry and no unusual animal sightings. Recently though messages had been left behind in the killings. Not just anti-Christian messages but ones that declared their hate towards humans. This latest message however, declared its hate against a specific group of humans: Hellsing.

The grass had been thickly smeared into words and threats against the organization and Integra wanted to scream in frustration. They had finally gotten over the effects of millennium and rebuilt. The troops were trained and ready. Her estates completely returned to her power and her bank accounts no longer blacklisted. The freaks nearly nonexistent except for the last dregs which Alucard took care off whenever they were stupid enough to show up. Now some new threat was showing itself with its teeth bared and the desire to challenge Hellsing.

She needed all the help she could get because the valentine brothers who had slaughtered her men in her own home, all those years ago, still ate at her. She needed every resource she had. Mostly she needed answers as to what they were facing. For now, she decided what she needed most was a stiff drink. No ice. Hopefully vodka.

"Drinking again? You could get alcoholism that way my master."

She stiffened. Scratch vodka. She was going straight for the tequila. Here came the main reason for her desire to drink. She glared at him. "Go away Alucard. I'm in a foul mood and have no desire for your games."

He only grinned wider. He looked amused and she desperately wanted a vacation but she had no person she would trust with the organization much less who she could trust to leash the vampire. She needed someone to confide in. The only person she could do that with had already gone missing. She didn't miss the the small baring of teeth before a impassive mask covered his face. He no longer looked amused. She smirked. As usual his temper flared at the mention of Seras and her disappearance. . She had always had her suspicions that her monster was not as emotionless as he let on. She suspected that Seras had gotten under his skin and that was why he was so angry and obstinate about finding her. He demanded free time to search for her for years now and she had to enforce the bond to keep him inside

"Still bitter? Or worried? It has been three and a half years and yet her disappearance still causes you grief." She studied her servant's impassive face closely. It was a perfect mask but she hoped what she would say next would crack it even a slightest bit "if I didn't know better I would say that you loved h-"

He growled angrily and she kept her face from smirking in victory. He looked agitated and angry at the suggestion. She was simply smug to have been proven right and to have gotten him back for being a pest.

"You know nothing! I am not worried. I do not worry. Police girl is my child and was under my protection." He was close to snarling his words out. The disrespect in his words rankled her but she was far too satisfied to care. This was simply too therapeutic for her stress to care. Not only getting back at her servant for decades of annoyance but confirming her suspicions… they were simply too satisfying.

"Yes. Clearly you just look for her for three years out of fatherly concern. You interrogate vampires for information about her whereabouts or if they see her out of fatherly concern. And before she disappeared I got regular reports that soldiers who looked at her body or worked close to her needed hospitalizations. All out of fatherly concern. How _mistaken_ of me. Obviously there is no love for her on your part." He bristled but said nothing. He seemed… upset. She realized that she had taken this too far. She shook her head. She needed sleep. There was only one way to get rid of him.

"Alucard, I herby give you permission to access the seals up to level three and to leave the estate for four days in order to search for our missing agent Seras Victoria. Feed first on your medical _blood packs_ because you are **not** allowed to drink from humans." She made sure to put special emphasize on the feeding from blood packs. His smile couldn't have been wider and he looked eager to go eat so he could leave. She smirked. "When you find her, you can tell her how you _feel_." She mocked. He growled and disappeared, looking sullen and sulky.

She stared in silence at the wall. She felt sad. Seras had been missing for three years and it was getting close to four. She didn't think they would find her. Where had Seras gone? Why? None of these had been answered.

Integra shook her head. There was no need for these thoughts. she had to check the library to see what monster she was dealing with now. She was confident that he would find her one day. After all who better to find the girl than her own creator and master of all vampires?


	2. The catastrophic crossroads of descision

I seem to be saying sorry lately. Alot. Here "The missing" chapter three. XxxxxXxx "If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight, even though the ruler forbid it; if fighting will not result is victory, then you must not fight, even at the ruler's bidding."

There was a rustle and he flicked his eyes over to the bushes. His grin widened. His senses had a large animal in them and this didn't smell like a bear. He was nearly quivering as he fought to hold still. He was itching for a fight, the thrill of a battle and the pleas from his victims. This had to be the thing instigating the attacks and as soon as he killed it he could go back devoting all his time to finding Seras. Slowly he took the safety off and used his third eye to find the weakest point.

He reveled in the excitement and the idea of the battle to come. He had no idea how the creature had been able to get this close without him noticing but that was about to change. He whipped out his arm and pulled the trigger. The gun discharged it's round but it was too late. The creature had jumped up and back out of the bushes and for a moment he caught sight of a large shaggy black animal and four limbs.

He grinned ferally, curious of what kind of creature his opponent would be. He dashed forward keeping his senses trained on it. It seemed to slid smoothly when it landed and it tried to turn around and run. He wasn't going to let it get away that easily. He increased his speed and caught one of the furry limbs, raising it up and smashing it against the tree. It yelped and he had the distinct impression it's leg wasn't supposed to be picked up that way.

It recovered quickly and scrambled up on the four legs, dashing between his legs with the intent to run. He used his shadows to grab the hairy creature and dragged it back. It snarled at him and bit at the black tendrils savagely. He frowned and looked at it. The mass of black fur and the writhing shadows made it hard to make out but it looked like a large dog.

He frowned, something from his memory nagging at his head. He knew this creature and what it was but couldn't quite remember what it was. He stared... No... This was definitely not a dog. It was too large. On all four legs it wasn't as a tall as a full grown man but it reached his stomach. It's paws flexed and slashed widely with sharp, curved claws. Shaggy black fur that looked filthy and coarse.

The head was positively wolf-like but it was covered in slashes and patches of missing fur with scabbed scars, clearly from fights. He could see when it bit and snarled that the gums were swollen and there was a pasty yellow spit coming from its mouth, dripping. But the eyes were a sickening orange color. It was a crude color that shouldn't have looked menacing. And that was when he remembered.

Alucard was once again looking at a werewolf for the first time since his capture by Abraham Van Hellsing.

And he looked on in pity upon what he saw.

For this was not the creatures he remembered being forced to leave behind. While the wolves were not entirely peaceful, neither were they violent. Fiercely proud, gently docile. Loyal and wise. Deadly and beautiful. Yet what he saw before him was entirely different. A perverse version of his beloved wolf tribe and friend.

Bloodthirsty, mindless and without intelligence that he could sense. Perhaps the lust for battle had overtaken the pitiful wretch at his feet, but it contained no hint of control or sanity within it's actions. And it was the physically ugliest creature he had ever laid eyes on. Whole tufts of coarse, filthy black fur gone from fights. Scars, scabs and gashes in the exposed areas. Rotting black, swollen gums and fetid yellow teeth flashing and snapping at the shadow tendrils, flicking droplets of yellow, slimy drool. Those sickly yellow eyes were not right. The color... Was crude somehow. Part of it's ear was torn and tattered.

He frowned.

The ear should not be so. While their regenerative abilities were not as quick as a nosferatus, werewolf's healed far to quickly for their ears to remain damaged and to cauterize like a regular humans would. He stared feeling perturbed. He could smell no metallic tang like the other millennium made creatures and the earthy smell was there but soured somehow. Neither was there the taint of human drugs within him. Which meant this was somehow a real wolf. And yet it wasn't. These were not the creatures that he walked with so long ago.

Beautiful and lithe. Their coats every color, feather soft and sleekly clean. Their canines and gums never were anything but a healthy red and black gums, and a clean sharp white set of fang and tooth. They walked with a soft and smooth grace. Deadly, fierce and intelligent. When angry they were deadly, dangerous and with all the cunning and guile they could achieve.

Gentle and wise. They did not actively hunt and kill humans like the myths claimed. They only did so when the occasional one wandered by their path and threatened them. They were smart enough to know that there was no purpose to reveal themselves to humans. Their desires and culture had drained them of all interested in their bi-pedal counterparts long ago. They were simply interested in their own pursuits and would never care as long as they never saw another human again. Often he had hear of them scaring lost children out of the woods, because they held a soft spot for small ones. They were intelligent beings capable of intelligent talk.

And talk they did.

He reminisced about the times he had walked at the side of the red wolf as she softly spoke in the odd lilting tone the wolfs held. It soothed him as nothing else would. Or listened to the pups squeak and hurriedly try to tell him of all the smells and things they had chased that day, something that had always made him smile. Or hear the white wolf speak of battle and challenge him for a fight. Something that made his blood race in anticipation.

The strangled howl broke him out of his revery. He looked at his trapped quarry and released that it was trying to bring others. If this was the state of one, it made him subdued and discontent of the others. This, he knew was not the same tribe he had been with. But... Strangely... He did not want to see them. His beloved wolfs... He found a strange sense of fear, inside of him, at what became of them and if they had ended up like this one. If was with a sick feeling that he did a mind dive and searched for any hint of conscious or memory.

Conscious thought was indeed present but subdued. Their was more aggression than active though and more focus of killing, eating, and desire to mate. But beyond those desires he found nothing else except a violent creature completely bent on destroying and killing. It seemed to make no distinction except a member of the pack and a nonmember of the pack; and he found hazy memories of bloody encounters with nonmembers. To it's blood crazed mind their was little else except the hunger and the complete desire to kill humans. He focused on locations within it's mind, any scrap of useful information.

Unsurprisingly he found that this was merely a runt, a youngling of the pack which this creature belonged to. Yet what surprised him was the memories he did receive. There was no tribe. Not at all. Every pack he had ever seen had a tribe. He focused his mind elsewhere and found the knowledge needed. The locations were hazy at best but he could find them. He pulled his mind out and looked at the deformed wretch grimly. He knew what he had to do. But his mind balked at it. He had come to prize his beloved wolves so greatly. He pulled out his gun and aimed at the ear, pulling the trigger. The howling stopped. The yelp of pain was loud. But the quiet nothingness afterwards was deafening. He smelled the blood and indeed knew that something was foul with it but there was no sickness to it. He picked the dead creature up and walked away.

His master would want to see this.

Oooooo0000oooooO  
>I felt the need to detail the change. What happens and how.<p>

Good news. My laptops working and i will soon be putting the chapters back on fanfiction. However there is something important i must say:

The Sopa Censorship law is a law where certain companies will have the authorized right by the goverment to blacklist and shut down many websites that could have even vaguely questionable content in it. Anything from, Thatguywith theglassesdotcom, Teamfourstardotcome, youtube, Newgrounds, Mangavolume, Mangafox, personal blogs, Fanfictiondotcom, Adultfanfictiondotcom, photobucket, facebook, Mozilla Firefox, Paypal, Google, Mediafire, PirateBay, Livejournal, to miniclip could be a target because it 'could' have illicit material. This law authorizes the deletion of such cites without even giving the website a chance to remove the supposed illicit material. Not only that but this is a clear and direct violation to our rights as Americans to have the freedom to read, say, do and practice what we want. This censors our media without our consent.

I beg you, I urge you... Stop this! go to americacensorship . com and vote against this clearcut violation of our constitutional rights as free thinking human beings. fanfictiondotcom has certain teenage to adult themes and the occasional questionable material that we all enjoy. The Sopa law, if passed, can shut down Fanfiction without question or investigation of the all the websites features or content! This means that anyone who loves the site, anyone who has a passion for writing will be shutdown. it will be useless. If you love fanfiction and freedom to choose, to write what you want, or even any other website, vote NO!

Im serious about this. I think if you all voted ill work super hard and and get 2 chapters done. long ones. You guys vote and i will love you forever. it takes less than a minute to vote and protect your rights. Please! im just about begging here. heres the deal, if i get 20 votes, ill write two chapters. If i get 50 votes, Ill write four chapters. If i get 100 votes i will write seven chapters all above 2500 words long before tuesday the 22 of novenber. So go vote no!

-He will knock four times


	3. The empty child

Distractions are nice. Really fun. Especially if you've been writing the same stories for a while and your story quality is starting to feel low. So I do what I usually do! I write something else for a while!

Oh my god! Look! Here comes a distraction now! XXXXXxXXXxX

Sat in the darkness. Look around. Their were others in the darkness too. All crowded together. She blinked and-

She?

Oh... Shes a woman... She smiled in a daze... How lovely.. Her eyes wandered in confusion to the faces around her. Some looked at her in pity and sympathy while others held a glazed look to their eyes. That was nice... Her head felt strangely floaty as if she had nothing in it...

Then it occurred to her that she didn't _have_ anything in her head because she couldn't remember anything. She struggled for a moment with the concept and was pleased when she reached the conclusion that she had to of had a name before she had forgot everything. But what was her name? Then it occurred to her that she did not know of any names for herself nor of any names for anyone else. She smiled languorously. How odd.

Then there was like a singing. In her head.

**your name is number 56.**

Her eyes widened in delight. She had a name! Number 56! Her faced relaxed dreamily. How wonderful...

A while later she started to wonder who had named her such a gloriously sweet name. She pondered and pondered it until there was a melody. One in her mind.

**Your lord and master has given you your name.**

Here eyes widened excitedly. She had a lord and master? When would she meet him? The harmony returned.

**yes. You will see him soon. You are to address him as master. **

She smiled hazily. So wonderful... She would meet him and call him- she frowned. A tingling at the back of her mind. No! She had no master! Her faced scrunched in concentration! She was forgetting something! She was forgetting someone! Someone that was so important! Then she noticed the others in the darkness, the ones of sympathy, and the alarm on their faces! And then one of them spoke! A woman's voice of warning.

"Don't child!"

But she didn't care! She had no master! And she remembered hazy faces and voices she couldn't place! And then she knew her name was not number 56. It was something else. Something on the tip of her tongue. Her... Her name was-

And she gripped her head in pain and defiance! No! NO! It was her mind! She owned it and was in control of it! No! Not again! Her mind! Her MIND! HER MI-

It felt like something was swept away and drained from her...

She blinked dazedly. There were some people in the darkness with her, all clustered together, looking at her with sympathy and pity. A few shook their heads. Her? Oh... She is a woman. It occurred to her that she didn't know her name. Suddenly a trilling song was humming through her. In her head.

**Your name is number 56.**

She smiled dimly.

How nice.

Good news. My laptops working and i will soon be putting the chapters back on fanfiction. However there is something important i must say:

The Sopa Censorship law is a law where certain companies will have the authorized right by the goverment to blacklist and shut down many websites that could have even vaguely questionable content in it. Anything from, Thatguywith theglassesdotcom, Teamfourstardotcome, youtube, Newgrounds, Mangavolume, Mangafox, personal blogs, Fanfictiondotcom, Adultfanfictiondotcom, photobucket, facebook, Mozilla Firefox, Paypal, Google, Mediafire, PirateBay, Livejournal, to miniclip could be a target because it 'could' have illicit material. This law authorizes the deletion of such cites without even giving the website a chance to remove the supposed illicit material. Not only that but this is a clear and direct violation to our rights as Americans to have the freedom to read, say, do and practice what we want. This censors our media without our consent.

I beg you, I urge you... Stop this! go to americacensorship . com and vote against this clearcut violation of our constitutional rights as free thinking human beings. fanfictiondotcom has certain teenage to adult themes and the occasional questionable material that we all enjoy. The Sopa law, if passed, can shut down Fanfiction without question or investigation of the all the websites features or content! This means that anyone who loves the site, anyone who has a passion for writing will be shutdown. it will be useless. If you love fanfiction and freedom to choose, to write what you want, or even any other website, vote NO!

Im serious about this. I think if you all voted ill work super hard and and get 2 chapters done. long ones. You guys vote and i will love you forever. it takes less than a minute to vote and protect your rights. Please! im just about begging here. heres the deal, if i get 20 votes, ill write two chapters. If i get 50 votes, Ill write four chapters. If i get 100 votes i will write seven chapters all above 2500 words long before tuesday the 22 of novenber. So go vote no!

-He will knock four times


	4. The one who waited in vain

"_**It's hard being left behind. It's even harder to be the one who stays..."**_

Night 1

_It's so quiet... I've never noticed how quiet it was before. Not that I ever heard anything through the stone with my weak senses but I guess it was the knowledge that there was life above my head that gave the illusion of noise. I don't even want to write this but I need something to do or I'm going to go crazy with boredom. Its been two months since that battle has ended. Pip has been strangely silent in my head since then and I have returned to drinking blood packs._

_Masters gone. So is Sir Integra. She is in jail, master is with her and I am here... alone. The Hellsing manor is damaged and I've been trying to make myself useful by clearing the rubble away and any ghouls that are still inside the manor. However I've long since gotten rid of the ghouls and the house has barely any debris. So I am here with nothing to do but feel resentful that master hasn't even shown himself to me. I know I shouldn't, he's just being loyal to Integra but I cant help it. I had high hopes that now that I had improved I would be more equal to him. I guess I was wrong..._

Alucard flipped a few pages ahead seeing that there wasn't much but boring accounts of the manors state, random ghoul attacks and flippant thoughts. He stopped and continued reading.

Night 26

_Something is greatly wrong. I'm not sure what but something is telling my senses that somethings wrong. I don't know what to do about it. I've been getting that feeling for an hour and its making me anxious and tense. I want to tell myself that everything's fine and that I'm being silly but I know that its not true. I'm not yet old enough to know what it is telling me but I know to listen to it. I've cleaned my guns and waited in one of the lower basement rooms just in case but nothings happened. I don't understand why this has happened but the sense of danger passed after a few hours._

_I didn't sense any ghouls, vampires, freaks or humans which makes me worried about this feeling of danger. What is neither species that I know of and is dangerous to me? I had already killed the werewolf that had been working for the major. I don't understand what is happening and it worries me. I miss master. He would know. He always knows. I'm certain he will come visit me soon and I can ask him then._

Alucard stared at the page with a unsettled feeling tasking root. Seras had unwavering faith that her master would take care of her and protect her. But he knew the truth. He had never intended to visit Seras while Integra was still in prison, He had thought that she would fine on her own and she wouldn't need him. So he was content waiting for his master to crack, give in and agree to the conversion from human to vampire night after night while his fledgling, his ward, was in danger. She had been under his protection and he had neglected her safety in favor of convincing his master to become like him. He growled angrily. He had no one to blame but himself.

He turned the page and found that thhe danger that had been sensed the night before had faded and there was nothing more but accounts of a bored fledgling and her silly thoughts. So he flipped ahead some more. What he found was a story that got increasingly worse as he read on.

Night 44

_There was an intruder! I caught someone trying to sneak into the mansion and when they saw me they ran. I tried to chase but they left before I could see where. Strangely there was no smell for me to follow them with. I saw that he wasn't a vampire or freak which makes me wonder what human doesn't have a scent? I quickly went to Integra's study and made sure none of her documents, manuscripts and other important things were not taken. It seems the intruder hadn't gotten that far but I'm certain she or he or someone else will try again. I'm going to begin a nightly patrol to make sure nothing important is taken. I'm the only person left within the manor so I guess its my responsibility to guard whats left of it. Master would probably tease me but I think I'm feeling brave enough to tease him back._

He cocked and eye brow and smirked. While the news that she had encountered a invader of the Hellsing manor was troubling he did find it amusing that she might have felt brave enough to tease him. He continued reading.

Night 50

_Completely event-less. Nothing at all happened. I could have picked my toes and that would have been the exciting thing that happened tonight. I went on my patrol and found nothing. I tried reading from the library but there was nothing but occult or Dracula. At this point I wouldn't waste a bullet on target practice with so much potential danger out there. So I have nothing to do but write this. None of the mystery guests have returned but I'm not fooled. Its very likely that they could come back so I'm not going to relax just yet. Still I am almost wishing that something would happen. Anything. I don't care if its bad. I'm finding myself craving conversation or action of some kind._

He nearly skipped ahead but paused when he found the next page.

Night 51

_I hate this. It makes me feel like a coward. They came and I hid. Men from parliament came looking through the Hellsing manor. They carried silver weapons and I overheard them whispering my name. They came not to ensure that my masters masters house was clear of hostile undead, but to clear the house of me. They had orders to kill me on sight. So I hid. I guess I've been enjoying the blood and battling a little more so it feels strange to suddenly be hiding now. I don't know what exactly is going on with the government right now except it seems that they don't care if I'm Hellsing property or not. Because Hellsing is suspected of being traitors its seems good enough to them and they will be out for my blood. _

_This is not good. _

_Neither is the several backup generators and supplies they took. I've been relying on those to keep the blood refrigerator going. Now I only have a single generator and only twenty gallons of backup diesel fuel left. Things are looking worse and worse and I begin to regret my desire for things to happen even if they are bad. My food supply has been running steady with the rationing I've been doing. Now it has the risk of spoiling and going bad, I have the official government looking for me with the intent to kill, everyone is on high alert for vampires and I have seen a strict curfew before nighttime being enforced with the city being severely depopulated and damaged. Whats worse is I am expecting mystery intruder or intruders any day now. _

_There is also a dress code being enforced that no one is allowed to cover their face and arms during the daylight so as to prevent vampires traveling in the daytime. I was nearly caught at daylight and questioned about my choice of dress, he demanded to examine my mouth. I had punched him in the faced and ran away. This is definitely not good. I saw them going house to house checking and interview the residences there. When people don't answer the door, they break it down and raid the house. If I decide to relocate for safety reasons I will most certainly be discovered. Neither can I hunt if I run out of plasma. I'm scared. I know I shouldn't be but I am. Master would be ashamed if he could see me now. He would tell me to hunt, that's its the natural thing to do. Integra would say that it was an emergency, that she would understand. _

_I've tried telling myself this, rationalizing the why's and hows of hunting but I don't feel ready. The vampire in me... Every time I give in to it I feel like I'M the one disappearing and its taking over. I don't know what to do. Things are getting worse and worse. Neither can I contact Integra for further instruction of what to do or how to get advice from master. I've called him with my mind and he doesn't answer. I need help but I cant reach them. I wish I knew what to do. I wish I had someone to tell me what to do. Master always knows what to do but I cant talk to him. He isn't answering me. I'll wait for him. I know he will come for me. He wouldn't just leave me. I know he will come see me, but until then I will just have to rely on myself a little longer._

_In this, I am completely alone._

He stared at the words he was reading feeling sick and that alien emotion of guilt taking root. His Seras had needed him and it was a slap to the face... these words he read. They reminded him of his failings. He remembered during his incarceration Seras reaching out to him in her mind calling for help and pleading for assistance. But he had ignored her, telling himself that she didn't need it. She was strong enough, she could handle it alone. That it was just her being lonely and scared. She had needed him and he intentionally turned away from her. She faced the threat of the governments dogs coming to kill her, intruders and possible starvation. She had needed him, called for him and he had turned his back on her. Yet she had still kept her faith in him, certain he would help in her darkest hours. He kept reading.

Night 66

_I have been starving for three days now and have only just managed to escape and feed. I robbed a blood bank at a hospital and the blood fridge is full. My food ran out six days ago and I have only just managed to refill it. Although the previous supply didn't sour and go bad I know it could have. But I can handle being hungry. I have had enough practice going hungry no matter how upset master got at me for it. They came again, the strange beings that leave no smell. _

_They didn't not even try to steal from Integra's office like I had originally thought. They passed her room and came straight for me. They were inhumanly strong. And naked, strangely enough. There were four of them and it was all I could do to defend myself. I managed to kill one of them but the others I thought I had wounded healed with no trouble. They seem to regenerate. They do not fight like paladins I have met and they don't seem to be all there mentally. They don't talk for one thing, and normal concepts such as planning do not seem to work. Strangely, they also seemed... sick. They looked physically ill. Yet despite this they have massive amounts of physical strength. I had to run from them or be torn apart. I am weak. Master would be ashamed._

_I had locked myself in masters room listening to them pound and beat at the door, which thankfully held. They were there for several hours trying to break it down. They also tried playing quiet and waiting for me to open the door. I did not fall for it and had the door remain close for the rest of the night. I had thought them gone after five hours silence. They were not and have proven themselves patient. Hunger and starvation set in over the next two days and nights waiting for them to give up and go. I had slept in my masters coffin for strength and it was comforting for I miss him dearly. When they had finally gone I stole from a hospital all the blood I would need to feed and I'll be moving the blood pack supply down to masters room and be sleeping there. I don't think I can sleep safely in my own room. Whats going on? I'm frightened. Wheres master?_

He skipped ahead feeling more and more disgusted with himself the more he read as the account of what had happened got worse each night.

Night 97

_They come every night now. Its getting to the point where I cant even leave masters room without being attacked. I heard them howling at the doors like shrieking men dieing of thirst and I hold the only water for miles. The pound, scratch, kick at the door trying to get in. I know I cant stay here anymore. They are weakening the door every time they come a little and yesterday I heard the hinges weakening; there is a small crack on them. Its small now but what about tomorrow night? Or the day after? I cant stay any longer. They are going to get in and kill me. This morning when I left my masters coffin I found out that the extension cord for the blood fridge had been cut and the bags are slowly heating, the ice melting. _

_Once again the threat of starvation arises. I tried calling for master again and he is silent still. Why doesn't he answer me? I held out for this long because I thought the manor needed someone to guard and that my master would come; but at this rate there's no one guarding it and my master doesn't answer. Its just me cowering in my masters room. They are too strong with so many of them. I'll wait one more night for my master and I will call for him one last time before I run to find somewhere safe but I have the feeling that he will neither answer nor come. I've waited three and a half months. Yet my master doesn't respond. Why?_

_I really am alone._

Here he paused and could find no recriminations for Seras questioning him. He had ignored her cries for help and there was no justification for it. He turned to the next page and found at blot of ink. He found words crossed out, sentences scribbled over. The only thing that was legible had clearly been addressed for him. Clearly there had been something Seras had not wanted him to read. He used his shadows to slowly removed the blobs of ink covering the page so that he could read it clearly but there was still a little damage to the words. It was hard to read and he had to admit she had done well crossing out the words.

Night 100

_Its been a h..dred since the at...k on ...don from millen...m and . find myself pa.k..g my thin.s, cleaning my …. and getti.. ready to run. I know I had said I would only wait one more night but ... like a pathetic pu... I waited t... calling for my m... and still he ignores ….doesn't come. The hinges on t.. door finally broke ... propped it b... and le...d my ma..ers coffin ….the door to keep them out. I can't stay. I know … shouldn't have delayed ... feelings for my …. delude ... thinking he … help me... but I c...t help it. I wanted to believe …. …... he would come for me, … felt …. ssibly retur... … as wrong. Master doe... el about me the w... I do abo ... im. I ha.. go._

_I have to go in an hour. I will hide and wait in a safe place as soon as the creatures go. They usually leave about noon. Master if you are reading this I will be hiding out in Big Ben if all goes well. If things don't go well I will leave you a message about where I am going next._

It was if a fire had been set up Alucard. He had some sort of clue as to where Seras was and he wouldn't let her go now.


	5. My name is-

Sitting in the darkness, she started to become much more aware of herself. She was in a different room than before. She was sure of it. Different? Than before? Confused, she pondered that. Different implied her being in a room, that was not the one she currently sat on the floor of. What? She had no memory of being in a different room. Hadn't she always been here?

Right? Hadn't she- ... She... She... She? She was a her? Her... Yes. Her name was-

She blinked and suddenly it was bright in the room. Suddenly? Did that mean it was dark before? Before? _Was_ there a before? She couldn't remember. Hadn't it always been bright? Someone was talking to her. No. At her. Their voices washed over her meaninglessly and she was sitting at a table. Who were they? A more frightening question came to her simply because she didn't have an answer. _Who am I_? A voice came to her then.

_**Your name is number 56.**_

56? She sighed, content. How lovely. Who had named her? Her father or her mother? Frowning in confusion she sought hard for the information. Did she have a father or a mother? She couldn't remember. She had the sense that she was forgetting something. The voices raised in pitch and insisted she answer their questions. It was almost painful now, to resist their questions. Now? Did that mean there was an earlier?

"...-swer the question."

"What question?"

She couldn't remember anything they had asked her. Suddenly the burning pressure abated when she met the demand for a response. Suddenly? She cocked her head in confusion. Did that mean there was something before? Surely there had to be time passing. But she couldn't seem to remember there being a 'before' the 'now'. All she remembered was being there and learning her name.

"What is your name?" Bewildered she searched her brain for the answer. "Answer the question. That is an order."

The terrible pressure from before returned and her mouth opened.

"Number 56." It left her then.

"Good." She felt unreasonably pleased at this small show of praise. "Do you know where you are?"

Suddenly she felt fear. She couldn't answer. She searched her mind heavily and came up with nothing. But the terrible pressure returned. **_Answeransweransweranswer_**. "No." It faded. Faded? Faded from what?

"Do you know who I am?"

She looked at his face. She looked at him but couldn't seem to remember what he looked like. He? Wasn't it an it? She wasn't certain. She looked at him and would blink realizing she still had no idea what he looked like the moment she looked away. Had she seen this face before? She couldn't remember any faces. Frowning, she realized she didn't even know what she, herself, looked like. It deepened when she realized she couldn't remember any names either. Why didn't she know names to call other people? A thought with a touch of panic came through- _its so you can't name yourself._ What? What was that? She didn't think that? What was it? She had thoughts that weren't her own. Dazed, her brain tried to assimilate this distressing realization. Blinking heavily as a pressure flicked her mind, she relaxed. It suddenly didn't seem as important as before. She had always been in this room. Always. Right...? Right? _Hadn't she?!_

**_Answeransweran-_**

"No." The pressure faded.

"I am your master." It said. It? Why was it an it? Wasn't it a he earlier? She frowned. Earlier? The pressure returned and she found that she was accepting this. It didn't matter.

"Yes, sir." She responded obediently, wondering why she was saying this.

"Yes, master." It... He... She wasn't certain anymore... corrected her.

"Yes mast-" she started to say but stopped.

What? _No._ Her brows drew together and her lips pursed thoughtfully as she tried to understand. Something told her 'no'. Master? _It wasn't her master!_ Her head was so strangely hollow. She had memories somewhere. Didn't she? Thinking furiously she realized that she had not always been in this room. She had lived elsewhere. Elsewhere? Yes! But where?! When? Why couldn't she remember? Why couldn't she remember her own name? How could she have forgotten something like that?! That pressure from before came back stronger than ever. **_Submitsubmitsubmit_**-

"No. Not my master. My master is-"

Panicked, it's voice cut her off. "I am not your master!" She stopped. Confusion took her again. Her thoughts muddled and her earlier epiphanies became hard to remember like a mirage. What? Hadn't he just said he was? Just said... Just... Didn't that mean there was a previously existing event for there to be a just? It's voice continued. "I am your leader. Call me leader."

She relaxed and the pressure pushed away her troubled thoughts and not-memories. Not important. Leader. Yes... She could call someone leader. "Yes, leader."

"Now 56, I have an assignment for you and-"

Her furrowed brows were back and her lips pressed together, thinking hard as it prattled on. It was obscenely difficult to think or comprehend the sense of wrongness. Something was missing. She had forgotten something. It was important, she was sure... It was on the tip of her tongue. This peculiar and wholly unexplained need was pressing at her. The urge to correct an annoying certain someone who never got her name right. Speaking out suddenly, she surprised it.

"Seras." It stared at her with something akin to alarm on it's.. His... It's... His face... She wasn't sure though, having never seen faces before.

"What?"

"My name isn't 56."

Her head wavered. Wasn't it? Why had she said 'Seras'? That wasn't a name. It had felt so natural to her tongue that she hadn't even thought it. She had been thinking and then it popped out of her mouth unexpectedly. It didn't sound like a name. Name... Names... She didn't know any names... She, her, he, him, you, them. She knew that's what people were called in general but that wasn't personally their name. Suddenly '56' didn't sound like a name. It certainly didn't feel like hers. It occurred to her that she didn't know any names. Not hers and not any names for others. Leader didn't sound like a name.

"Why do you say that, 56?"

Dazed, she sat silently as the pressure nudged at her. Forget it. It's not important. Let it go. Leader was asking a question. **_Answeransweransweransweranswer_**-

"I don't know." After a moments thought she opened her mouth. "My name is Ser-"

Blinking, she found herself in the dark. What? It had been so bright before... Before? Was there a before? Hadn't she always been here? Hadn't it always been dark? She frowned as some remainder of a dream slipped away fast. She tried to grasp at it but she couldn't remember. Remember... Remember... Remember? Remember what? What would she be trying to remember? She couldn't seem to remember anything. Had she forgotten something? More than a little puzzled, she wondered what her own name was.

_**Your name is number 56.**_

The voice had entered her mind. A subtle pressure somewhere behind her eyes had smoothed away her worries, so she smiled. Looking around with interest, she found herself to be in a room with white walls and a single door. The door had a small rectangular observation window just large enough for someone to peek through. She stood and looked through it. Across the hall from her was another door with the number 58 affixed to it.

It took her a moment to realize it, but after thinking about it, it occurred to her that she had to have gotten into this room somehow. Yet she had no memory of entering. Confused, she felt herself frown as she started thinking hard. She had no memory of anything. Nothing. Was that normal? Didn't people usually have memories of something? Anything? Didn't people remember being small children or going to sleep the night before? Hadn't she always been here? Always... Always? Was there a before? She didn't know. She couldn't remember. A pressure was building somewhere inside her head and she felt she might fly apart. It nudged her insistently. **_Not important. Relax. Let it go._**

She felt her mouth open and she was speaking aloud to the empty room. "My name is-"

She blinked. What? Looking around in confusion she found herself to be standing before a desk. She? She? Oh... She was a woman... Why was she here? She didn't remember being there until just that moment. Blinking owlishly, she couldn't seem to place a finger on what was wrong. She couldn't remember anything. Her first memories were of this room.

Someone behind the desk was talking but she couldn't seem to find her attention drawn to him. She tried looking at him but the moment she closed her eyes, for the life of her she couldn't remember what he looked like. It struck her suddenly that he didn't smell right to be giving orders. In order to give orders he... It... he had to smell right. She wondered if that was considered funny but had nothing else to compare it too. He didn't smell like... like... What was it he was supposed to smell like in order to give her orders? After a moment of grasping for it, she smiled as it came to her.

Smoke. He needed to smell like smoke and spices to give her orders.

Her smile became a frown as she considered this. Why was it important he smell a certain way? He... He... He? Wasn't he supposed to be a she? Wasn't he supposed to be a she that smelled of smoke and gun powder? She became even more confused until that nudging pressure from before smoothed it away. Before? She had experienced it before? She had no recollection of anything except that room.

As she stood there listening she started to tense up again. The more she looked the more she remembered what he looked like. He didn't look right. His hair color was all wrong. It was a messy brown. Not pale yellow and straight at all! And he didn't have glasses... She wasn't sure why but she felt he had to have glasses. His skin was too pale. It wasn't dark enough. His eyes were all wrong too. Green. Not pale blue. Unlike tundradic glaciers. His nose was the wrong shape. The clothing he was wearing was too casual. He looked at her too kindly as well. In fact the longer she stared at him the more certain she became that whatever he was saying wasn't worth listening to. He wasn't the person who was supposed to order her around.

But who was? Terrible pain blurred in her suddenly as she struggled. It came to her then and she looked at him in startled astonishment.

"You're not Sir Integ-"

She blinked and found herself sitting on a chair in a well lit hallway. Doors with numbers on them stretched as far in either direction as she could see. Looking in front of her curiously she could see the number '58' affixed to the door across from her. She had the oddest sense that she had seen it before. Had she? She couldn't recall ever being here or anywhere else before then... but she must have been somewhere.

Her attention caught onto three people talking near her in hushed tones. They were so far away but she could still hear them. She tried to understand who was saying what but the harder she looked at them the more difficult it was to remember their faces. The moment she looked away from one to the other she realized she didn't know what the first looked like.

"-ncoherent for days at a time like this. Very stubborn."

"I still think they were crazy to take her. I mean, of all the ones to steal they go for _his_ child? What were they _thinking_? Remember what happened to Bins and Dornfeld? She's dangerous!"

"It's unfortunate but we just need to figure out how to control it."

"_Cont_- _Control her?!_ How?! She slaughtered seven men and two women just because someone with access to her file thought themselves clever and called her 'police girl'! Then there was that fiasco with the-"

"It's done and we have our orders. Let it go. What do management think?"

"Higher ups don't know how she does it but she manages to remember on an almost hourly basis. Dr. Charles can't make any progress with her because he has to flush her memories constantly, and fast before the bindings have a chance to break."

"He thinks its because she unconsciously remembers and and something from here is associated to her old life."

"Think if we can find what it is and take it away this will stop? We must have done something wrong. She used to go weeks without trying to remember and now she can barely go two hours without us having to scrape her head empty."

"Well, what did we do differently before all this started?"

"We had her staying in the Green room for a temporary time but then we put her in the Communal area. We had new comers. Less effort watching her too."

"Doesn't the Communal area have floors and walls of stone?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So, doesn't the Hellsing Institute have their basements made of antique paving stone? I'm pretty sure that is where they kept the two of them."

"Ah. Makes sense. Underground. Dark. No windows. Easier to make sure no one sneaks out for a snack."

"I think that's the problem. Since it started, we kept sticking her in dark rooms made of stone hoping that less stimuli given would make it go away. It's only made it worse. Probably too similar to what she is used to."

"So we have to keep her in a room that's properly made up? What about that time I sat with her in my office and she completely spaced out?"

"I don't know. What were you doing that could set it off?"

"Nothing. I just sat at my desk and gave her the instructions."

"Maybe it's because you were ordering her from behind a desk?"

"You can't be serious!"

"I think so. If our reports on her habits are to be believed, she commonly stood in front of the desk while receiving orders. The Hellsing woman frequently sat while giving orders. She stood in front of your desk while you gave them sitting behind. It will be tedious but we need to eliminate all these little similarities if we are to control her."

She frowned heavily. 'The Hellsing woman'? Hellsing... Hellsing... Hellsing... Scrunching up her nose she thought hard. Hellsing... It certainly tasted familiar on her tongue. But why? She wanted to think about it further but she became startled by someone gasping. She looked over at the men and found them all looking at her.

"She's awake."

They looked at her warily. She understood this but wasn't sure how she knew. She had never seen faces before then. She couldn't seem to know what the expressions were. Maybe it was the sharp smell that came to her. Her? Oh. She was a her. What was her name though? Name? Didn't she have a name? Why didn't she know? Of all people, surely she would know her own name.

Right?

...

...

_Right?!_

"What is my name?" She asked curiously and was suddenly struck by the familiarity of the question. Had she asked it before?

Something in this question relieves them. Their shoulders droop and their faces smile. One of them talks but she isn't certain which one.

"Your name is number 56."

They are tensing, expectant, but she is too preoccupied to care. 56? That was her name? It didn't seem right. It didn't fit. But if that wasn't her name then what was that it? She couldn't remember but they _had_ told her that was her name. Surely they would know if she couldn't.

"Oh." This response had them relaxing again. Something about them isn't right though. She can tell but couldn't understand what. Frowning, her brain went to work. They distracted her again with an offer, their voices strained. That pressure pushed away her efforts. Not important.

"56? How would you like to see the Green room?"


End file.
